I love life.

My mother went out today to and brought home some nutella. She is my saviour!

Though It is the tiniest nutella jar I have ever seen in my life, minus the little toast serving sizes from europe.

It’s times like this that gives me new hope in life.

Oh and there’s rugby practice tomorrow night. Great.

Pressure’s off.

Hi I’m Orange and I’m a Flexitarian.

i ate meat on my trip, only because they were the majority of the meals that we got. And since i’m not the biggest fan of meat, yet there’s the occasional temptations (jerk chicken, christmas turkey) ps. you know how hard it would be to make the turkey and not be able to eat it. why would i want to shut myself from something that is all around me permenantly. it’s not like i choose my diet for the animals, its more like a health thing i guess. so pressures off, no more guilt when i crave or eat the occasional meat. I am a Flexitarian.

ps. i saw the post of mitch hewer below and it made me smile. the way i smile when i see him as my wallpaper on my phone first thing this morning when turning off the alarm. He is my sunshine.

Sheltered.

being brought up the way i am, i have an attitude to avoid the initiriative to make plans with people or to even try to get to know people better. once again, it’s a antisocial thing. i grew up in a household where going out is a somewhat frowned upon thing, where we have to earn the privalege to go out. back then, before my parents understood the essentials of going out (well maybe not essential) the only time i’m aloud out is if it is for a good reason like homework. even when in the event of it happening once in a blue moon, they hawk over me and must know everything that went on with a strict curfew. 1-2 hour outtings were never fun, i was always to rushed in time. i remember back in elementary school people in my class would come to my house and ask if i can go out, i would ask my mom and she would say no, even though i completed all my homework and i’m just slugging around the house. my friends eventually caught on and began coming to my house less and less knowing what would happen. i don’t understand why some parents are so sheltered towards their children. my mom is always complaining why i’m always on the computer and watching tv, and why my vision gets worse and worse every year. i so want to say that it’s because that’s all i can do seeing as i’m not going to do what they expect me to do to read my text books, study for upcoming tests that are still unknown. they tried to occupy my time by giving me math problems and reciting the times table. i swear it’s an asian thing. well back to the point of this blog. yes my parents has loosen their grasp on me, but even with the bit of freedom they have given me, i don’t use it enough to my advantage. i’m personally not the type to make plans with people. i try but it’s just not something i do. i always feel desperateness when asking people to hang out (that are not my norm/close friends) hense the reason i hang out with the same old. not saying that it is a bad, though i do want to get out there and be able to make new friends and hang out with different people. i shelter myself towards to world because the way i was brought up, i guess my parents accomplished their job.

Fear.

I’m scared.

i’m scared that i would not have the marks i need to get into a univeristy. i’m scared that i will not be able to get the job that i want. i’m scared that i will have anyone there for me when i step into the real world. i’m scared that i will lose contact with my friends on the way. i’m scared that i will not find someone to love. i’m scared that i will not find someone to love. i’m scared that i will not be good enough. i’m scared that i will not be able physically to have children in the future. i’m scared that i my marriage will come to a sudden stop. i’m scared to eventually say good bye to someone close to me. i’m scared that something will go horribly wrong in my life. i’m scared that i will not live my dreams.

i’m scared of what lays ahead.