finally got a new keyboard, well for a couple of days now.
One of the best feelings i ever get, is when i feel like I’m learning and knowing why i feel the way i feel. Self discovery i believe. It’s difficult to describe the feeling, and i think that unless you personally experienced it, you won’t understand. when i was younger emotions were so limited and easy to understand. but now it feels like one emotion it self can have so many meanings behind it.
In the past year or so, I’ve learned so much about myself. I now know what that as i get close to people, i pick at their flaws and imperfections, which draws me away from them. not the best trait to have.
I also noticed that i am the type that doesn’t like to be wrong. in reality who doesn’t? but i tend to stick with my gut feelings of me being right until proven wrong by hard evidence. and even when i do end up being wrong, i can get somewhat upset.
I realize that i try to live in a unrealistic world. until recently i believed the world and people around me were innocent, simple and true. i believed that the people i looked up to, people i wish i can grow up to be, my role models are as perfect as i believed they are. but once the truth that they have been hiding comes out, it turns out it has all been a mask to hide the lies, cheating and dishonesty from us. I just wish life was as perfect and simple as they are on tv and in fairytales.