Anti-Alcoholic.

so i ‘ve been ‘good’ for the past month and half. ‘good’ as in i haven’t had any type alcohol consumption. i don’t crave it, though there is times where i want to have some in me (wait that’s craving nvm) basically i want to get smashed/shitfaced/hammered/trashed/teed/etc.  sometime soon! it doesn’t help that the only way to get some is to get it off people ( which get it off someone else) or that my parents are completely clueless and against me drinking. i never even brough it up to them. i hate being underage. the pass few days i’ve been thinking about how awesome it would be once i become 19. heck i even talked to my cousin about going to niagara falls, renting a room and clubbing there after my birthday. i’m not a complete alcoholic, i just like to let loose every so often. though when i drink i always plan to get plastered, i guess that makes up for all the times i don’t drink. i feel that it is such a waste in alcohol if you don’t ‘give it your all’ personally i hate the feeling of tipsy and buzz. once i hit that stage of the slight intoxication, i automatically down more alcohol until i loose all self control. i love the feeling of just letting go of all worries and responsibilities or what other people think. most of all i love that it gives me a reason to be a total idiot. i guess i’m not that bad, i drink so ‘little’ that i am able to remember all the times i drank in my life.

March 24th 2007 (14) – this after my grade 9 spring semi formal, we walked to my friends apartment. basically all we had were this big malibu and orange juice. surprisingly good. i didn’t had that much since the taste of alcohol was overwelming for me. stayed there for about an hour and a half. the last half hour was hell for me, i had to pee like a pregnant woman, and the chicks house i was at was about to move out so everything was gone except for a couch and a tv.

July 3rd 2007 (14) –  i was hanging out at my friends house, did the usual took tons of webcam pictures and made a vid of us sing and dancing. how embarrassing. then we decided to sneak three beers out of her dad’s stash and we drank at the park. i felt something that time, but not enough to get drunk.

July 12th 2007 (14) – my first real ‘party’ i knew i was going to drink that night, i obviously did not know what i can take. i got there around 6ish. and i started drinking around 7. i downed about four coolers in an hour. yes binge drinking. and then i dont remember anything after that. ‘apparently’ i cried cause i was scared that i would get in shit from my mom when she comes to pick me up. i was the joke of the party. i also jumped into the pool with all my clothes on. hour embarrassing. my mom was suppose to pick me up at 11 but my friends dragged me home at 10:30. while i was getting dragged home i threatened to punch my friend and acutally attempted to punch her. i also hugged a lamp post and peed myself. thank goodness i arrived home right after my mom left the house to pick me up. halleluja. oh yeah i got the worst hangover of life the day after.

October 29th 2007 (14) – all the good stuff were gone and i was stuck with beer, i took a sip and passed. worst party of my life. but i felt good that i was ‘good’

Then i went into my ‘straightedge’ phase where i did’t want alcohol to control my actions. didnt last long.

April 5th 08 (14) – I finally got of my straightedge phase. this one was a big party. i didn’t drink alot but i got to the point where i was giggly and happy and loving everyone. i made friends with a german exchange student from the catholic school. i jumped a fence as everyone was saying the cops are coming… which they weren’t i looked all over the house for grain and made sandwiches hoping to help my friend sober up. and i also accepted a ride from a not-so-sober guy.

May 10th 2008 (15) – one of my better parties. ironically it was at the house right behind my house. i went went there with four breezers, and one corona. gave one breezer to my friend and sold another one. i wanted to trade the corona for something good, but my friend wanted it so i was nice and gave it to. but then she said it tasted like shit so she gave it back making stuck with it. i started playing with basketball, since i couldn’t stand i kept on falling. i look up and see my best friend staring at me ( she hasn’t seen me drunk before) after i finished my three, i went in and stole some vex from someone and split it withmy biff. after that i went back in for another and put it my bag. by that time i was out of it. i was a slob by then and next thing you know my vex that was in my bad disappeared. i spazzed but then i forgot about it soon. my biff barfed and me being the amazingly good friend started comforting her and stroke her back, i ended up with barf in my hair) other stuff i remember from that night… running around the block to my house in bare feet and bring my friends stuff out. i was a track star!

May 17th 2008 (15) – May 2-4 weekend. I wasn’t planning on doing anything, but i ended up tucking my brothers into bed at 10:30 and snuck out my window and walked to my friends house. I had them get my four breezers (faveee) it was just the four of us, me and four good friends (guys) by around 1 two of them left leaving me and my friend on a trampoline… next thing i knew we were swapping spit. first kiss was with a good friend and drunk. we walked to my house loving each other way too much. and let’s just say he left at 4 am. REGRETTTT! nothing happened below the belt though so it was all good. except he showed up at school with big purple blotches all over his neck. how embarrassing.

May 24th 2008 (15) – didn’t even plan this one. i went to a friends house (same three guys as week before) with some new girl i was hanging out with from my rugby team. it was suppose to be a bonfire, but we went to a close by party. then later since was no alcohol we went to some guys house that had left over alcohol from the night before’s house to pic them up. i drank too much. when i left, i thought my night was done that we were going to crash at my house, but my friend got a call from a guy she was seeing and then we went to meet him. he was also with a friend, and we were all hanging out. i was drunk by then and i shouldnt be out. my friend was telling everyone that me and the guys friend was going to make out. and we did. ugh. i didn’t even know the guy. we got to my house and we had a coed sleep over. i ended up sleeping on the ground as the three of them got the bed. they left in the morning sneaking out the window when my brothers started hear us talking. ugh i refer to this as my ‘bad’ month. apparently he went to school monday with marks on his neck too. so awkward when i see him in the hallways these days, his locker is right by my friend’s. never talked to him since that night. just weird avoiding looks.

August 24th 2008 (15) –  birthday dinner of my friends. we didn’t plan on drinking, but some girls were hinting that we should. we eventually put our money together and ordered some alcohol and had them delivered. nothing too interesting happened except that we got so friendly with each other that we started sharing ‘shaving’ techniques and tips. hahah!

November 29th 2008 (15) –  semi formal. this one i blogged about. basically i got too trashed, walked to the school. danced like a whore got attention and got bad looks from the cops and teachers 😦 felt like shit because i didn’t eat all day and left early. mom ended finding empty cans in my garbage, and questioned me 😦

January 21th 2008 (15) – party/gift exchange at my house. messed up the house. got snuggly with a guy i thought i liked. cleaned up a 26er that spilt on the floor. played truth and dare and it ended with a guy putting a show for everyone when he tried to jizz in a shot glass. hahah! fun stuff. i thought i did a good job cleaning up until two days later my mom finds a empty can in the kitchen cuboard.

wow i’ve only drank 11 times in my life and only more to come.

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