Maybe this makes me bent?

this weekend i went to toronto for pride weekend. i have been going since last year, so this would be my second annual pride participation. i choose to go. i support this lifestyle and wish that more people can accept it. our society has come a long way, the toronto pride week started about thirty years ago in the 70’s, and it has been growing ever since. i enjoy going too, i like seeing all the neat stuff that i would not see if i were in a small city like where i am now. i like the crowd, the bigger the better, it’s my own kind of high. i just love the whole experience. the people are all nice and laid back, during the two days i am there, there are no judgements. people do what they want to do, walk around naked, topless, dress up in ridiculous ways it is what pride is all about. the whole atmosphere is just too crazy for closeminded people.

i am proud of going to pride, participating in it and supporting that community, but if by me going to it makes people question my sexuality so be it. i choose who i tell about my short ‘holiday’, not because i’m ashamed but i really don’t think they can handle it. the ones i know that would accept it and maybe find it fascinating sums up only a few of the people around me. the rest gives me the look of disgust when i mention it, they ask me why i am going to it, they ask me if i am gay or bi, they ask me why i would want to be part of ‘that’? i would then explain what i see and have seen and what i enjoy and they just see it as weirdness. but hey, it is weirdness. i walk down the street and i see men naked, drags in gorgeous dresses and women walking around topless. take it or leave it. just accept reality and stop thinking negative about everything.

i actually have everything right to be there. the event is to gather those who are gay, bi, trans that fit into the category along with those straight allies that support the lifestyle. it is a statement towards the rest of the world, to show the changes that has happened in the past three decades.

now back to my experience this year. saturday was a dud, the dyke march that is. honestly i think it is nothing compared to the pride parade on sunday. my theory is that since the dyke march represents the lesbians, they are the only one that are in. but the pride parade represents anything pride, huge companies take this as an opportunity to advertise their products and more organizations show off what they got. i got a glisp of the march while i was drinking my bubble tea. later on that night, i went over to church street to see what they had. it is always my favourite part the crowds and the whole vibe. like it said before it’s my own type of high. there are so many performances and hot people posing for pictures. i took a few pictures with nearly nude sculpt men. they sure put a smile to my face. later on that night around 1 we went down again with my brothers since they just arrived with my mom. we wanted to give them a glimps of what to expect. i’ll be honest and say that i was really jealous that everyone was able to go the clubs. there were clubs everywhere, along with the endless lines of people waiting. the night was just beginning. everything was loving life and drunk. and then there was me, the underage one. this just makes me want it more, and this will make my visit in two years when i’m legal way better. sunday came around, the big day. it was raining during the morning and into the after noon abit, it was a total mood stomper. but i still go freebies when i went down church st with all the stands. we then went over to where the floats were before the parade started to look at the floats close up. it was really everyone was super excited and they were all looking hot! i guess the rest of the day consist of hanging out back at the apartment, then out for sushi, then went down church a few times again before heading home.

i really don’t think people can actually understand what pride is all about unless they experience it themself. it is not a huge city orgy of gays, bis, and trans. it is a gathering of the community along with those from around the world.



Ya old geezer.

i was listening to the radio, and after hearing something i felt the immediate urge to blog about it. please take note that i was heavily studying for my physics exam tomorrow and felt that this was more significant to do.

i guess it is a tradition to the radio station i was listening to to play an old school track at this time every night. im just listening to the dj describe the upcoming song, and he said ‘we’re taking you all the way back to 1999.’ i’ve never thought about it, but 1999 was ten years ago, and that is considered old school? that is such a weird realization. i have thought about this before, many times actually. i have a past, i have gotten to an age where i can actually look back at things and the changes in the decade. me and my friends talk about shows that we watched as a child, and how the children shows ‘these days’ are nothing compared to them. just using the words ‘back then’ and ‘these days’ gives me the chills. time just slipped by me without me even knowing. i remember everything like it was so recently. i often think back at my grade eight graduation. man that was 3 years ago. yes that is not a very long time, but everytime i look back more time as gone by, and someday it would be 20 years ago. i still remember everything about that day, that night, and everything that happened before that.

a few years ago, there was not enough memories or past to share and compare with people. but now that i’m older, and have experienced more things, i have the privilege to say ‘ when i was your age…’ yes i am able to say that to the juniors. i see people younger than me, and i think about what i could have done differently at their age, and how i would give anything to go back to those days. i wonder what it would be like if at this moment i was not the age i am, but younger. would i have done things differently if i knew what i knew now? of course. i have grown so much as a person in the past few years. i learned so much about myself and how to interact with other people and how to act in different situations. i have experienced my first part of the ‘experimental’ part of my life, and that makes me more knowledgable. my childhood is almost over, the next chapter of my life is going to start soon. and to be honest, it’s going to come too fast. this time next year i would look back at this post thinking how right i was.

Dear future orange
Stay good and i hope you haven’t done anything stupid. i know you’re a rebel, but i sure you’ll remember your morals. its good to learn from your mistakes and we both know that. but ‘they’ will only tolerate so much before you get in real doodoo. after you read this this time next year. right me a response 🙂
Love present orange.


not to brag, but i feel that i do fairly well in design. it is a course that i enjoy, and it is something that i do well in. but when a certain someone decides to challenge me and question about why my mark is so high it makes me angry. while i sit and actually do my work and exceed, you fall behind because of your perfectionist ways does not let you complete your projects. not saying that it is a bad thing, but when it is obvious that i work at a faster rate than you, why would you be frustrated at why i’m ahead of you. ‘what the hell orange, how the heck are you ahead of me?’ there is a reason why i have top mark in the class, why don’t you just suck it up and live life without complaining.

and here is another scenario that peeved me off. we had a test last friday, it was a open book test where it questions our knowledge about the building code in our province. i felt that it was only fair if i kept my mouth shut for the test, since we did have the advantage of looking in the book. i finished feeling iffy, but i didnt complain, i just went straight to work on my assignment in hopes that it will bring up my mark because of the failure test. so this someone, let’s call him gramma, doesnt finish the test, of which we had 73 mins to work on it, works on it monday. sweet i had no problem with that, except that on monday he has, what i would call a, conference with the other people that were still working on the test. they spent another 73 mins walking around showing each other where the answers are. this whole time i couldnt believe what was happening, and i’m not the type to tell either. my teacher is just way to chill to care, i guess if i had the heart i could have done what they were doing too, but i felt that just wasnt fair. it’s called an open book test not a ‘letswalkaroundandgiveeachotheranswers’ test. a few days later we got back out tests. i got a 80% and that little brat got a mark in the 90s. okay, what happened happened, cant complain. but what kicked the hammer up my ass even more is that gramma dares to say this  ‘oh look, now that my mark went up, and yours went down, we finally have the same mark.’ that was a punch in the balls, and i was lady enough to not call him out on it. what makes you think that we’re meeting in the middle? you beat me in one thing, while i dominate you in all the rest of the assignments and tests. i even have assignments handed in that are going to go towards being extra marks of which you were too fucking stupid to complete. its not that i’m mad over marks, i’m just angry at how inconsiderate this person is on what he says. well i guess i can’t complain, since i didnt mention him a previous post about being a really rude person.

okay, time to look over my business notes for my exams tomorrow and head to bed. taaaa.

Time and Space

So today I came across a book about time and space, and i read something that made me thing.

This is in the the topic of time travel : If a boy goes back in time to kill his grandfather, one would assume that the boy would never be born. but then if the boy was never born, how would the boy be able to travel back in time to kill his father. this got me thinking for almost the rest of the day. my first conclusion was that, once the boy kills the grandfather, there won’t be ‘the boy’ to begin with to kill the grandfather, so the grandfather would be alive and the cycle would repeat. then i thought ab0ut it, thats not right if he keeps on getting killed and not, so that would not really work. my friend then said that once the boy kills the grandfather, there would be a break in the time line, where the grandfather would have made an impact on the time space continum. but then i came to the final conclusion of once the grandfather is killed, the boy would have never been born. hense no one would be able to kill grandad, so grandfather would be able to continue his place in the timeline, but maybe totally different.

I also came down to the idea to agree with a few people out there that time is no linear, time occurs all the time. therefore more than one time other than the present exists. there is no way to explain it. maybe time isn’t 1,2,3,4, etc like the regular person would think and that time is everywhere and that it is not numerical.

what do you think?


Yesterday i found out that the reason that my locker was not decorated for my birthday over a month ago was because my friends ‘forgot’. when i questioned about it a while back, they said that it reason that my locker was no decorated was because my birthday was on the weekend, hense there really is no point. but thinking back, my birthday the previous year was on the weekend too, and my friends at the time decided to decorate it, though it was not that eye satisfying, i still appriciated it because they took the effort of decorating it even though i was at school already and got someone to walk around the halls with me just so i cant peek. but this year i even arrived at school late so people would have time to decorate it. i come to my locker and nothing. i kept in my slight dissapointment all day, not bringing it up. i guess i’m being a baby about it. i did mention before that i dont care about my birthday, but still i like to know the fact of when people acknowledge my birthday.

my friend then told me that its a ‘child’ thing. okay never said i was mature in that sense. there are certain things that i am mature at, i’m not legally an adult yet, so i don’t need to ‘mature’ up to be able to compare to the rest of the adult world. and when you think about it. the adult world consist of everyone from 18-65. and hells, i’m not there yet. i’ve got another year to waste on my childhood.

trailer surfing.

once again i am trailer surfing. and so far i have been satisfied with what i’ve seen.

the cove – i really want to see this movie. it’s a documentary about activitists that went to japan to unveal some major secret about this one city that kills dolphines and such and the country doesn’t even know about.

the ugly truth – romantic comedy, looks cute. but i think i can wait till this is out on dvd. or better yet out on the computer

funny people – it seems cute. but i dont think i would want to watch it.

aliens in the attic – total kids flick. i guess i would have wanted to see this if i was 10. but guess what im not? robert hoffman is in it. though not really diggin his hair. and then theres ashely tisdale, kid movie for sure!

gi joe: the rise of the cobra –  looks lame. no offense.

the final destination –  woot another one. they all end up the same. everyone dies and everyone tries to cheat death, and they end up dying anyways. big woop. i dont like seeing people die. bye.

bandslam – vanessa hudges and aly from aly and aj. nuff said. another performing movie with battle of the bands and winning and oh liking people.

the time traveler’s wife –  maybe i’m being bias because i kind of read this book and really enjoyed it. it looks really good. but i unno if it would be the same for someone that hasnt known about this story. i go so emotional towards in the end. this is one that i will see for sure! cant wait. i’m going to watch it again. that luck is it that the trailer comes out 11 hours ago, and i decide to go for my trailer surf today? its destiny!

a perfect getaway – that kind of ruined my mood from the previous movie  trailer. total action pack killing, escaping from being killed, never been a big fan of that.

paperheart – documentary of a girl not believing that she will ever find love. but it turns into her getting into a relationship with micheal cera. part of me doesnt feel this documentary is legit cause micheal cera in it and all. looks cute though. micheal cera is cute 🙂

post grad – exactly what i am afraid of after i get out of school. life sucks.

so i just about gave commentary to movie trailers, how lovely of me. and on the other hand how embarrassing that i just spent about an hour watching movie trailers. its a monthly ritual i swear! haha!