Time is ticking…

In about 3 month’s time, deadlines for applications to university will be due.

In about 5-6 month’s time, I will have interviews and presentations of my portfolio.

In about 6-7 month’s time, I will be getting my letters of acceptance or rejection.

I never knew three years ago, that this process would be so stressful and scary. Heck, I never even thought about it. I just thought, ‘3 years is a long time, might as well just live it up.’ But, 3 years goes by so fast. I want to rewind and live high school all over again, I don’t want to deal with this at the moment. This is my first step to the rest of my life. The decisions I make now, marks what I am going to be doing for the next 4 years (or maybe more) It’s going to be a new start. Without all the people I had thr0ughout my last four years. They will all be leading their lives. It is the next chapter of my life, where I leave most of the past behind and look towards the future. New responsibilities, new stress, new people, new life. I no longer have teachers that actually care about my marks and what I’m capable of doing. Nor do I have my parents there to set up my boundaries,  it is all me now. I’m my own discipline and motivator.  Everything I do now is through my actions, the rights, the wrongs, the inbetweens. I don’t have an excuse for my actions now as they are all made my me. Fear is also building up day by day, week by week. What if it doesn’t work out? What if I can’t get into calculus, what would happen then? What if I’m not what the school is looking for? My heart would be crushed and I can basically live the next year thinking of what I did wrong.

Growing up is a pain in the ass.

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