Dead.

The other night I had a dream that I died. Well I was a ghost in my dream and I don’t recall how I actually died. I’m not sure if dreaming about death is healthy for me, but that’s not the focus of this post.

There was two things that I remembered that was running through my head while I was in dream world. The first was wondering if people would notice that I’m gone. You know when people have ‘RIP’s in their names and such. Well I didn’t see anyone feeling sympathy for my death in my dream. I was kind of upset. But now that I think of it, would it really matter if people of peer acquaintance acknowledges my not being there? I wouldn’t even care. This is when I thought that deep inside, I’m an attention whore. I kind of like attention from time to time, but it just never happens. I can try my best to look good or anything, and I would not get the attention some of the other people get. I’m used to it. Really. I’m just not one of ‘those’ girls. I’ll always be average. Wow, I like the direction that this took.

The second thing that I was thinking about was… ‘I died a virgin.’ I’m not even going to come up with a meaning to that. Nah, I’ll try to explain it a bit. It would be a night mare to die without ever find that someone. I have a feeling that it wasn’t all about dieing pure. I know that when I lose it, it will be with someone special. And just thinking of leaving this world without ever having someone would be a hell hole. There ya go.

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