Average, plain, mediocre, typical, ordinary, boring.
That is how I feel. I don’t ever feel special. I just feel like I’m just another person that people just walk past and forget about. When people see me, I’m just another face. So hard do I wish that I was more than that, that when people meet me there is a special piszaz that makes the person want to know me more. I’m plain on the interior and the exterior.
There are those people that have a glow when they enter a room, they just light up the whole atmosphere. And I’m one of those people that is part of the background.
I was at a university interview last weekend. I had to sit in a room with about 100 people my age or older. I entered the room, surveyed my surrounding and the people in it and went to find a decent seat. It seems as the boys in front of me might have already know each other before, or they just quickly acquainted each other. The guys to the right of me definetly knew each other, the girl to the left was just there. Soon another guy came in and sat beside the girl to the left of me. ‘Are you nervous?’ he asked. They then got into a comfortable conversation and he told her what to expect in the test we are about to write, because he has previously taken it before. The boys in front of me took notice of what he was saying and joined in the conversation. Could I have done the same thing and made me just listening in less awkward? Yes I could have, but I didn’t. Then moments later as things settled down, the boys in front of me strike up a friendly conversation with the girl a few empty spaces over, she soon moved closer to talk to them and they talked about everything. I felt so lame at the moment. She was average, not the nottest bun in the oven, kind of sketchy (Yes I definetly judged her) I wondered how can people just pick people to start talking to? I was right behind them wasn’t I? I tried to look approachable and friendly, I guess that didn’t work.
So what does work? I don’t seem approachable when I don’t try, and I’m not either when I do. What do I have to do for people to talk to me? I’m trying to work up the guts to talk to people first, I thought I got it down pretty good until that moment.
This was my first time the moment of being in a new environment with new people that I have been waiting for, this was my first taste of next year, and I couldn’t step out of my comfort zone. God knows what my social life would be like next year.