The one thing.

When I feel hungry or when my stomach is empty, I feel thinner. This may be because my stomach IS physically small when I don’t have food in me. I kind of like that feeling.

Yes it is very bad. Would I ever go down the road and live a pro-ana lifestyle? I really don’t know. I don’t object to it, I’ll say that. As long as it makes the person happy. I myself have ‘thinspirations’ pictures of thin people that I look at for inspiration. I don’t know if I have a problem, I always look at myself in the mirror, my body, picking at the parts that I don’t like. Maybe I feel as if my body is the one thing that I can control. It may be the one thing that if I work hard enough will achieve what I really want. I can’t get extreme talent from working hard, it will only bring me to a certain extent. I know now that I can’t control my education, even if I try my hardest. Maybe if I look the way I want to, I’ll feel accomplished finally in my life, that I achieved something I wanted because I worked hard for, I suffered for this. I want this to be my train of thought now, just so I can keep this up. I don’t know how far I will go, but I will get it some day.

I’m hungry.


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