I’m scared to be in relationships. Well I haven’t really had a chance to before, but I think I’m afraid to be in one when the time does come.
I think I lack the trust to allow other people into my life. I’m scared that people would lie to me just to get with me. It doesn’t happen to me often, but it has before. Someone saying something that you want to hear, and you just take it all in, believe every word this person is saying. Looking back now, it reminds me of how foolish and naive I am. I have this wall up, protecting me from words of other people. I wonder all the time if what they are saying are true.
I was a loser back in elementary school, so when people ‘show’ interest in me, it makes me wonder if they are kidding or not. Who would have the slightest interest in the weird awkward girl? It must be a joke, they are being dared to talk to me. Usually in the end, I was right. It was all for laughs. Ever since then I’ve felt the same when ever someone is obviously flirting with me. I feel like a fool, a joke. I don’t see myself as someone would show interest in. It’s always everyone else.
By being such a skeptic, I don’t like to believe the words people say. All the lines they feed me, may make me go gaga at first, but when I think about it more, it’s all empty words.