So I’ve been expecting this for a while now. That we’re all going to start living our lives sooner or later. But really, I thought this was going to start when we start having a career and such, never did I realize that it was already happening.
Heading off the university, I thought that was just going to be the process of getting to that point in our lives. We’re still going keep in close contact and be be updated with things that are going on in our lives. As phone calls become less and less, and I’m seeing them live their own happy lives at their new schools with new friends, it’s all sinking in. I’m not saying I feel disposed of as someone in their lives, it just all became so real. Am I really part of their lives that much, if I’m only there during holidays and breaks? It’s such a big reality when I compare now to back a few months ago when we were inseperable. We talked to and saw each other daily taking oppurtunity we have to hang out. When you have someone there all the time, you start to take them for granted. You don’t realize how precious every moment is. No, no one died. I just miss that.
Reflecting on how I much I miss everything, I think I grow a sense of jealousy. I’m jealous of all the new memories and inside jokes these people I don’t even know are making with them. It’s a natural occurence, I can’t physically be there. I can’t be there laughing at their rediculus stories. I can’t be there to go gaga with over a boy. I can’t be there to put my arms around them when they need someone to turn to. But I must be happy for them, they’re moving on with their lives, and so am I. Because I’m not there, I want there to be someone there for them when they need company. The only sad part is how they can never compare up to how awesome I am. Jokes.
This is only a glimsp of what’s to come, sooner or later this time of seperation will become a longer time spand, soon it might be permenant. The phone calls will become less. The inside jokes will be drowned by all the new ones.
So I guess what I’m trying to say is, cherish everything you got now. Even if what I have with them at this very moment is not a lot, it can alway be worse.