i have never hated someone so much in my life. i want to cry every time i have the least bit of rage towards him. it’s more then a simple sibling relationship malfunction. whenever i vent about how much i hate my brother, my friends would just say deep inside, i do really love him. i don’t love him. i don’t even like him. i can’t stand the look of him. i’m usually not a violent person, but he is the one that can trigger me to imagine all the horrible things i can do to him. i would literally beat the living shit out of him and smash his head onto the pavement. he can die a slow horrible painful death for all i care. and even if that does happen. i wonder how amazing life would be with out the existance of my brother. my throat wouldn’t ache anymore from yelling at him every single day. my mind wouldn’t explode from all the effort i need to not slit his throat. i’ve never been so graphically gorey in my life with the things i wish would happen to him, until recent a recent ‘snapage’ from that little mother fucker. i have no other emotions except for hate and rage towards that person. i guess i’ve grown up thinking that i have to like him, that it was a moral requirement under the family rules of life. but i understand now that i don’t have to treat him like a brother, i don’t have to pretend i ‘love’ him. i don’t have to make him feel the least be relevant to me in any way. i only have one and half year of dealing with that spawn from satan. after i leave, i don’t have to speak to him ever again. i can come home from university and ignore him while i bond with the rest of the family.
i’m happy just thinking of him out of my life.